The big bad world of sports is one of pretty fine margins. It doesn’t take much to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. It doesn’t take much to go from winning and being the best to losing and going home empty handed to the sound of boos from the crowd. A brief lapse of concentration or bad luck and you’re in Failsville. What can you do about it? Not much. So when it comes to things you can control as a sportsman? Make sure you DO control them… We’re talking about things like the sporting clothes you wear. There’s no excuse for these dreadful sporting clothes fails… Here are fifteen absolutely shocking examples of what we’re talking about…
This Asian figure skating couple will rue the day they decided to go shopping down at the thrift store for stockings. The hole in this pair are bringing a fair amount of embarrassment on them. What with a couple of million people probably watching them at home. Look, wardrobe malfunctions come a lot worse, so don’t feel too bad for them. But do learn a lesson – it’s always worth spending a couple of bucks more of things you need to last. Otherwise it’s a false economy.
Whoever was awarded the job of designing the uniforms for this women’s cycling team is clearly not au fait with the anatomy of the human female. Or they’re just rubbish designers, one of the two. Who would opt for a flesh-colored mid-section that makes it look as though the girls have decided to all expose themselves at the exact time time, unashamedly…? This is one massive sporting clothes fail right here. For shame.
The world of women’s 7-on-7 tackle American football has one league. It’s called the ‘LFL’ – the ‘Legends Football League’. But that’s a fairly new name. It’s old moniker? The much more enticing, yet much more sexist, ‘Lingerie Football League’. At least with its old name you kinda knew what to expect. It was a game seemingly designed to encourage wardrobe malfunctions. And not many people complained. Well, okay, some people did. The spoilsports.
Did you ever hear that anecdote of British comedian and actor Russell Brand? About his weak attempts to pick up Serena Williams? It’s very funny and worth seeking out. Sufficed to say that he didn’t get very far. Serena is a strong and feisty woman and we can see some of the proof of that right here. Look at the strong gluteal muscles on the tennis star. It takes a clothes fail to expose the awesome booty of women’s tennis’ most formidable player.
Here we see Spanish soccer legend and former Barcelona coach Pep Guardiola experiencing a wardrobe malfunction. He’s managing his new side, German champions Bayern Munich in a vital Champion’s League game. Here we see him passing on some invaluable advice to his captain and assistant captain, Philipp Lahm and Thomas Mueller. All while having his tailoring let him down with this massive tear in his suit leg. Let’s hope he kept the receipt.
You’re playing with fire somewhat as a cheerleader, wearing those itsy-bitsy teeny weenie little skirts they give you. It must be like being on a knife-edge constantly – is your skirt going to blow up and revel your butt cheeks to a stadium full of tens of thousands of baying people? And here we see a classic example of the worst case scenario. That said, we also subscribe to the old adage, ‘if you’ve got it – flaunt it!’
More sporting butt-flaunting action here as we see jockey Blake Shinn in a moment that you just know he’s never going live down withhis pals down at the local bar. Here’s what he said about the incident, with good humor: ‘I was more worried about winning the race. They [the pants] went just after the start and there was nothing I could do. I think a lot of people are going to have a bit of fun with this, but they can’t say I wasn’t focused and went to the line.’
Here’s another epic sports clothes design fail from someone who just fails, once again, to recognize how clothing works on the female body. The camel toe is a risk when dealing with this kind of material at the best of times. So you have to use color to your advantage. Try and throw people off the scent. So to speak. Don’t intentionally make the crotch area florescent orange so it’s the first thing anyone looks at.
The buttock-based sporting revelry just never ceases here at 4AllFails. We can’t get enough accidental butt glimpses. And here’s a belter. Former world champion Gillian Cooke split her pants at a televised event. The British bobsleigh star just wished there wasn’t a camera crew directly behind her beaming out images of her posterior at the time. Her skin-tight Lycra suit annoyingly split as she bent over before jumping. Bah!
We told you how the tiny skirt is the bane of every cheerleader’s life. Once their squad gets given the little white shorts to wear, most cheerleaders think that any chance of butt-based embarrassment has gone forever. But as this girl is proving so admirably here – that just ain’t the case. Look, maybe her stain is actually caused by her scratching with a hand that have fake tan on. Or maybe she sat on a bag of Cheetos without realizing. Let’s hope, anyway. For her sake.
A dude’s butt slip now as we see Richard Berens’s swimming suit split – something’s he’s gone on to be semi-famous for now. The poor guy. He’s an American former competition swimmer, world champion, current world record-holder and two time Olympic gold medalist. Yet all anyone ever wants to talk to him about is the time the back of his special black swimming suit split and we all caught a glimpse of his goods. Like we said – poor guy…
Now, we’re calling this one a sports clothing fail, but you’ve got to admit – beach volleyball players aren’t exactly known for wearing a whole lot of clothes when they’re playing anyway, are they? They’re dressed pretty skimpily at the best of times, so a little visible butt crack is hardly going to make the headlines. Just look at those buns, though. Made of steel or what?! You could crack nuts between those two bad boys. In fact, that could be a sport all of its own, couldn’t it?
Here we see French soccer coach Arsene Wenger, who runs Arsenal Football Club (you’ve gotta think that his name had sway at the interview stage, haven’t you?). He’s renowned in the game for his attractive style of play, having been in his job unusually long and for his spendthrift ways in the transfer market. But, in England, he’s mostly known for his repeated inability to zip up his coats. Time and time again we see the Frenchman struggling to get zipped up. Red card.
Remember that old classic black and white photograph of the female tennis player scratching her behind? An old Athena poster from the 1980’s, it graced a million guy’s walls back in the day. And it’s clearly had inspiration for some women too. This tennis ace is clearly happy to recreate the pose. Otherwise why would she have worn such a small skirt with no shorts underneath? And proceeded to give her butt a cheeky scratch…?
A soccer match between Portugal and Ghana saw Portugal’s William Carvalho tug the shorts of his opposing player Jordan Ayew quite forcefully. So forcefully, in fact, that Ayew’s junk is quite clearly visible for all to see on television. Now, it should have been a ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ effort, but for the TV company’s directors repeatedly showing the clip. and from a variety of different angle. How embarrassing!