Ah, booze. Lovely, lovely booze. The nectar of the gods, some call it. There’s nothing better than an ice cold beer on a hit summer’s day or a large glass of wine after a long hard day at work. But, as we all know, alcohol has its downsides. But we don’t want to get into alcoholism or liver failure or anything that serious. You’re best off speaking to your doctor about that kind of business. We want to talk about the slightly more light-hearted downsides to the sauce. When drunkenness goes wrong. Badly wrong. Here are the booziest drunk fails ever. PUT DOWN THE BOTTLE!
Let’s jump straight in at the deep end, shall we? Why not, huh? Here’s a lady who has found herself extremely refreshed and in need of a quick lie down. She’s opted for an emergency snooze and evacuation combination on the sidewalk for ease. It’s time efficient and saves awkward clothes shuffling and having to find a restroom or bed. Some people frown on this sort of thing. Can you believe it? Some people are so close minded, aren’t they?
Sometimes drink can make you behave a little strangely, as you probably know. Your judgement becomes impaired. You make unusual decisions. Like, romantically. Do you get what we’re saying? Sure you do. Not that there’s anything wrong with this lady. You know, in particular. And hey – maybe the boozed-up guy’s no oil painting anyway. We mean, c’mon… we don’t care how many beers you’ve had – those Fred Durst baseball caps are never acceptable. That’s the real fail here.
Jumping jacks. They’re a good way of keeping fit. They’re great exercise, working the arms and legs and giving a great all-round aerobic workout. To get the most out of them though, you need to do them standing up. So this lying down version? Covered in a hundred recently-drained beer bottles? They’re not the recommended version. Still, they look like they might just be a tiny little bit entirely much better. *HIC*
Here’s an epic keg party. Real party time… Red cups, beer, girls, crazy behavior… Someone’s mom. Yeah, spot the odd one out, right? Right? Right. It’s the mom. Well done. Hey, look – we’re not saying that there’s anything really wrong with inviting a woman in her mid-forties to your party and then her falling asleep drunk on your couch. Oh, okay – there is. It’s wrong. It’s a fail.
Faceplants. No, they’re not flora that grow out of the front of your head. They’re when you land on the floor face first. But you already knew that, didn’t you? Sorry. Anyway, booze is known to encourage an abundance of these face-first falls. As we can see here. And often, what with your friends being as drunk if not more drunk than you – you get very little pity, comfort, reassurance or help. You just get laughed a. And photographed.
Finally, a little bit of drunken fun we can get on board with. Now this stair surfing effort looks a like a decent time. But that’s only because we’re looking at a midway snapshot of events. What happened 1.5 seconds after this photo was taken? Oh, you’ve guessed it. This beered-up dude smashed headfirst into his front door and swallowed a mouthful of teeth. Let’s just hope he was left with at least one gnasher so he can open his cans, eh?
Drinking makes it easy for some people to misidentify objects. Unattractive people appear like attractive people, for instance. And, as we see here, snow appears like grass. So what better way to spend an evening after a few brewskis than to go out into the yard and mow a little bit of snow? Trailing electrical cords? No problems. What’s the worst that can happen? Oh, yeah. He could die. 🙁
Here’s a rather depressing looking scene. These two fellas are about as wasted as it’s probably possibly to be without exploding or something (We don’t know, does that happen?). Weirdly, there’s no booze remains about. Where are all the bottles and things? Man, are these two so drunk they’ve eaten them all? Now that would be a drunken fail. It’d certainly make this backwards chair fall look a little dull.
Who knew that Minnie Mouse let her hair down so extravagantly, eh? We hear it’s all down to Mickey. A workaholic who’s had a string of extramarital affairs, Minnie’s inattentive husband has driven her to alcoholism. Usually it’s just a few wines, but here we see her after a full night of vodka swigging. We see her here, topless and showing off her wide range of controversial tattoos. Drunken Disney fail.
We’ve all been drunk, haven’t we? And we’ve all been naked. We’ve – mostly – all been on a roof at some point or another. But very rarely do we score the trifecta. This guy, though – he has. And it’s been captured on camera for posterity. Mind you, we don’t know the dude. Maybe this isn’t a great snap of an unusual little episode. Maybe he’s just a big ol’ nude-y drunk who lives on a roof. You never know.
Drinking on your own can be fun, but most of us prefer to get sozzled with a pal. A drinking buddy we can trust. Someone who can go toe-to-toe with us at the bar and falls asleep with us on the grass. And if they’ve got four legs and they’re covered in hair? All the better. Trouble is, giving your dog alcohol is extremely illegal. And not just because mutts rarely ever lived to be over 21.
Hey, we can see your flaps! When you’re a lady in a skirt on the razz and you get tipsy always make sure your flaps aren’t visible to anyone wanting to take a sneaky photograph. This woman’s forgotten that golden rule. We can all see that flap. She’s even put her head into it. She’s done well to get halfway through, but still. This is embarrassing. This is what we call a drunk fail.
This crazy story is great. We love it. There’s always one dude in your little crowd who passes out and misses half the party, isn’t there? You have to fill them in the next day about everything they’ve missed. Well, this dude (on the left, obviously) is that guy. Passed out drunk in a bar, his pals spot Tom Hanks on the next table. Crazy, right? And Forrest Gump has a neat idea. Pose for this awesome picture… What a shocker for Ol’ Drunky the next day! Just imagine…
Things get lost when you find alcohol. That’s a fact of life you just can’t get away from. Actually you could get away from it. Just have a few beers and you’ll lose it, easy. Okay, losing intangible concepts is difficult no matter how many wine spritzers you’ve necked. But shoes? They’re damned easy to lose. Despite being the size of your face.
Ah, the old drunken moose fail. There’s always one, isn’t there? Okay, maybe not. But when they happen, they happen BIG. They’re epic. What happened here is that this Scandinavian moose ate a whole bunch of fermented apples and got drunk off them! Yep, really. That’s a thing that happens. They’re really placid ordinarily, but when drunk? They turn aggressive and dangerous and ram cars and get tangled up in trees. Just like our pal Mike.