If there’s one thing that kids can be relied on to enjoy – it’s animation. Cartoon movies are normally a guaranteed source of respite for parents. If your kids are being a menace, stick an animated flick on the DVD player and you’re golden. The rugrat’ll behave for a while. And who’s the king of the cartoon? It’s Walt Disney, of course. Or at least he was. His corporation have been responsible for creating some of our best loved movie moments. So it’s understandable that parents across the world want to celebrate the great Disney characters from down the years in cake form at birthday parties and things. It’s just a shame that so many of them turn out so badly… Here’s fifteen examples of what we mean right here…
Ah, Ariel. The flame-haired Little Mermaid that was the heroine of every young girl of a certain age. An attempted recreation here though has ended in an under-the-sea tragedy. In fact, it looks as though this cake was made by the Jamaican crab in the movie, Sebastian. After all, this is so poorly made, surely a human being can’t be responsible for it. Can they? Let’s just hope this wasn’t made for some poor little girl’s birthday party… Oh dear. It was, wasn’t it???
Cars. Every little boy’s favorite movie. This modern Disney Pixar classic gets some serious playing on the DVD players of families with young boys across the world. In fact, we bet there are probably millions of parents that know every single line in that movie! But while Cars might have proved to be a hugely popular movie, we doubt that this here cake emulated the success. Poor ol’ Mom or Dad. We’re sure they tried.
This, in case you were wondering, is supposed to be the ‘beauty’ from Beauty and the Beast. Now, we’re not sure that this beauty is all that beautiful at all… In fact, what’s up with her eyes? It looks like she’s got black eyes. Oh no. Are they black eyes? Has she been hit? Damn. That means that the beast really is a beast. Or maybe it’s just a badly-frosted cake. Yeah, let’s go with that option. It’s a lot less depressing that way.
Now, we’re guessing that little Jasmie wanted to welcome in her 6th birthday with a lovely tasty cake all themed around her favorite Disney TV program, Hannah Montana. But instead of Miley Cyrus, her parents have baked up a sugary treat seemingly themed around Van Halen. Because here we quite clearly see the face of David Lee Roth staring out at us from this cake. Which is odd, isn’t it?
After you’ve had your sixth birthday party ruined by your parents’ inability to distinguish between Miley Cyrus and David Lee Roth, you give them a second chance. Three years later, you’re still into Hannah Montana and you let your Mom and Dad have a second crack at the cake. You get all excited, your friends are round, the ice cream’s out… And now it’s time for the cake. And it looks like this. Still, at least it doesn’t look like a Van Halen-themed dessert. So that’s something.
Now. Here’s an Olaf the Snowman cake. Olaf’s from the Disney movie Frozen. Snowmans – sorry, snowmen – are frozen, right? Well, normally. But this one here doesn’t look to be maintaining his structural integrity due to, in all probability, a change in mass. In other words, this dude’s melting. And ‘melting’ isn’t a brilliant look for a cake. See above for details.
Dear God almighty in Heaven. What on Earth has happened here? It’s weird – this cake looks nothing like Minnie Mouse. And yet it’s clearly Minnie Mouse, isn’t it? But it’s almost as if the baker of this cake has never actually seen a picture of Minnie Mouse. It’s like they made it with someone on the other end of the phone, badly describing what she looks like. Weird.
Here’s a cake of Queen Elsa from Frozen. Although you might not be able to tell that without someone telling you. California baker Lisa Randolph-Gant came up with the creation. Here’s what she said about the cake disaster: “Yes, I know the cake looks a HOT MESS …… BUT here is the back story …I had just lost my grandmother and I had been with my Mom all day comforting her. I came back to work on the cake I HAD 2 hours to get it done and delivered. I was so upset I remember asking for prayer on Facebook to get it done.” Kind of feel sorry for her now…
Poor little Milo. His cake is ruined. What’s supposed to look like Buzz Lightyear from the Toy Story movies has ended up looking more like a teenage Bane. Or a surprised pig. Or maybe even a slightly sunburnt Dr. Hannibal Lector. But we’re guessing not too many partygoers guessed that little Milo’s dessert treat was based on the design of ol’ Buzz the heroic astronaut.
A cake all about Disney’s most popular film of the past two decades, Frozen. What do you imagine might be on it? A picture of Anna? Queen Elsa? Olaf, even? Sure. And there’ll be some frosting on there. Lots of frosting. And what else? Hoe about the title of NWA’s anti-cop anthem, ‘F*ck Tha Police’…? No? Oh, well, it looks as if you’re at the wrong bakers, then. Disney/explicit hip-hop track title cakes are all this place is interested in.
Ah, Minions. Those lovable little fellas from Despicable Me, Despicable Me 2 and, of course, Minions. They’re miniature evil sidekicks that look pretty innocent but are actually mercenaries for hire for bad guys across the world. But in cake form they seemingly don’t look all that innocent. Not these ones anyway. With their sagging eyes that have fallen out of their sockets and their generally melt-y appearance, they look pretty darn scary to us!
Walt Disney’s classic 1953 rendition of Peter Pan painted Tinkerbell out to be the sweetest of the sweet. And the baker of this cake has certainly kept that theme going. Let’s be honest, that Tinkerbell is so sugary she’s looks like instant diabetes. But doesn’t look much like Tinkerbell herself. Maybe a Lisa Simpson drawn by a drunk. Still, the effort was there. Wasn’t it?
Whoa. This one’s pretty incredible… This is about as far removed from looking like Mickey (or Minnie?) Mouse as it’s possible to be while still technically actually being Mickey (or Minnie Mouse). Imagine just how traumatized the kid who had to blow the candles out on this was. They’re probably still haunted by the nightmares of this confectionery aberration. We think we might even have bad dreams about this. *shudder*
We could have themed this whole post around Disney’s Frozen cakes alone, couldn’t we? Well, we suppose the film is pretty huge. But just why are so many awful cakes being made with Frozen images on them? Actually, is this even Frozen?! It’s kind of hard to tell… The frosting is that bad. This could be any princess in Disney history. Heck, this could even be Aladdin for all we know…
Uh-oh… Now all of these characters are quite easy to make out. There’s no confusion on that front, oh no. But that’s not the problem here. Can you see what the problem is instead? For this children’s cake…? Yep – that’s right. It’s the whole massive pink phallic-shape objects vibe that it’s got going on. Let’s be honest – it’s not exactly all that age-appropriate, is it? No.